Thursday, September 19, 2013

Redefining Perfect, Part 1

A specialist?  The world goes dim when you hear your child's pediatrician refer you to someone else.  It normally means something isn't right, and it requires someone with more knowledge to help.  It's scary.  No, terrifying.  Those were the words we heard at Addyson's 2 month check up.  I guess I've lived in denial for the last month.  I didn't want to see it, I wanted our sweet Addyson to be perfect.  I think that's what every parent thinks and wants.  It's even on her wall in her bedroom: "Every Good and Perfect Gift Comes From Above."  I guess it's time to redefine perfect.

But let me back up.  I think it's important to understand what we went through from the beginning.  We discovered we were expecting--it was a surprise.  We certainly weren't planning on having another child at the time.  We were very happy with our 2 year old little boy who always keeps us on our toes.  Nevertheless we were thrilled; we wanted a bigger family eventually.  The mad dashes to the toilet began early.  Brushing my teeth was dreaded every morning--I still don't know why I didn't just pop in some gum anyway.  Right after brushing, I needed to pop in gum anyhow.  I sure wasn't going to re-brush my teeth after all that.  We heard the heartbeat at our 8 week appointment.  It was high, 176.  I just knew this little blessing would be a girl with as sick as I was and the high heart rate.  Everything was just as it should be.

Then one day at school, I was approximately 10 weeks along, I got extremely dizzy and had the school nurse check my heart rate.  It was high, too high.  I was admitted to the hospital where I was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism.  I was very anxious about taking medication.  The internet didn't help either.  There's all sorts of things that can go wrong with the hyperthyroidism and pregnancy.  It's dangerous for the mom without medication.  It's dangerous for the baby when mom takes medication in the first trimester.  I had to take the medication;  I was holding my breath, praying for this sweet baby.  I went in for my 12 week appointment, relieved to hear my sweet angel's heartbeat.  Then again at 16 weeks and my doctor did a sonogram and let us know that we would be blessed with a little girl.  My sweet Addyson.

Since I had hyperthyroidism, I was referred to a specialist.  At 16 weeks I went into the high risk obstetrics office for a sonogram.  The sonographer seemed to spend a while on her heart.  Nothing was said, but I was worried still.  Something just didn't seem right.  Then at my 20 week sonogram at my regular doctor's appointment, the sonographer requested a follow up sonogram to look at Addyson's heart at 28 weeks.  Terrified doesn't begin to explain how I was feeling.  The weeks came and went.  We arrived at 28 weeks and the sonographer said everything looked fine.  I could breathe a sigh of relief.

My sister and I began planning to take my son to a Thomas the Train event that a local city was having.  We were so excited.  But again, this pregnancy would give me another scare.  It was a Thursday afternoon, right after returning from lunch and PE.  I was sitting at my small group tutoring table with a group of students.  I felt myself becoming very dizzy, my face began to go numb, and then I started to lose vision.  I calmly told the students I was not feeling well.  I walked to the teacher's room next door, asked her to watch my room.  I remember feeling very confused and having a hard time communicating what was going on.  I felt my way down the hallway to the nurse's office.  I sat down and remember saying, "check my blood pressure, something isn't right."  It was alarmingly high.  The nurse took my cell phone and called my husband.  I went to lie down.  John came and picked me up from school and we drove to my doctor's office.  I already had an appointment that day.  By the time I arrived, my blood pressure was back to normal.  Aside from some remaining dizziness, it was as if nothing had happened.  The doctor told me it was likely a migraine, and if it happened again we'd see a neurologist.  I was put on bed rest for the weekend.  There was no Thomas the Train trip for Caden.  At that point, John and I decided that it was time for me to go on maternity leave.

The following 9 weeks went fine, compared to the issues I had already been dealing with.  I enjoyed staying at home, the school year had been extremely stressful on me.  I had a lot of contractions on and off.  My blood pressure went up around 38 weeks and the doctor recommended inducing labor at 39 weeks.  We went in at 6am on June 15, the day before Father's Day.  They started the pitocin and the contractions started coming.  The nurse became concerned about a pattern Addyson's heart rate was showing on the monitors.  Pitocin was stopped until my doctor could come check us out.  The doctor said everything seemed to be fine.  We started pitocin back up and I was at 5cm at noon, and then all of a sudden it was time; Addyson arrived at 1:27pm!  They placed her on my chest for a moment, but then as quickly took her from me.  She wasn't producing a good cry.  They called NICU down and kept working with her for about half an hour.  It was the longest most confusing 30 minutes I have ever experienced.  They finally recomended skin to skin contact to see if that would help.  Eventually they just determined that she was fine, but had a weak cry.

We started nursing, all of that went fine.  You have your normal trial and error with a new baby.  She had a great sucking reflex.  They took her for all the millions of things they have to do for new babies.  We were all doing great and we went home on Father's Day and began our new life as a family of 4.

We just didn't know how much things were going to chage in the coming months...


  1. Praying for you, Addyson, and your family.

  2. Anxious to hear the rest, and praying for you all.

  3. You have a precious little one. Looking forward to the next part of the story. Knowing that God will provide you strength and comfort in whatever you may have to face. ((Hugs))

  4. Praying that all will turn out well for your family. I'll be watching for Part 2 of Redefining Perfect. Your Addyson is a beautiful little girl.

  5. She is beautiful and looks just like you! I am sure she is a strong and spirited girl, and was sent to your family for a reason. Keep faith!


So glad you stopped by! I'd love to hear your thoughts!

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