Friday, May 13, 2016

Just Our Story

I haven't updated in quite some time and we've had some new things happen. 

I have completed my first surrogacy journey.  I delivered a little girl on January 18th.  I wish I could share details and pictures, but it was part of our contract for me not to share anything.  It was so amazing to be a part of making a family.  She was nearly 9lbs and absolutely perfect.  This is me looking pretty done at 40 weeks and 1 day! 

We have done some tests for Addyson in January just to check up on a few things.  It was a painstaking process with a ton of worries.  Of course, all tests came back normal.

She's been evaluated through the school district and found to be within the average range in all areas, with the exception of some adaptive behavior skills--mostly dressing herself and being potty trained.  I'm fairly sure it's just because she's stubborn!

We did learn that Addyson has some white matter damage to her brain, and this gives her a diagnosis of Cerebral Palsy.  In some ways, it's great because I know I can get her accommodations in school, if she needs them.  However, at this point, she acts just like any other almost 3 year old.  We don't really know why the damage showed up now and not when she was a baby.  We don't know what caused the damage.  No one can give us answers, and I'm learning to be okay with that.  Cerebral Palsy is typically brain damage that occurs during pregnancy, delivery, or in infancy.  So that's basically what we have to go on. 

My husband thinks it was when I had the dizzy spell around 30 weeks.  But when we got to the OB's office there were no signs of distress.  I think that was just a blood sugar drop.  I used to get those a lot as a teenager. 

I honestly think it was something that happened when we induced labor.  I think she became distressed when the contractions started coming so fast and strong.  There was a point where the nurse turned down the Pitocin because Addy was showing signs of distress on the monitors.  Thank God for that nurse who recognized it and helped right away!  Addyson was actually born extremely quickly also,  just 1 push and a laugh.  Seriously, my OB had me push and then told me to stop because she was coming too fast.  Then she made a joke, I laughed and Addyson was born.  I love that story.  I love that she was born out of laughter. 

Of course, if I could go back, I wouldn't induce with Pitocin.  In fact, with my surrogate pregnancy we ended up inducing with just a membrane sweep due to low amniotic fluid at 40 weeks and 1 day.  I was pressured to use Pitocin when we arrived at the hospital, but held my ground.  She was born without any other assistance than breaking my water.  And I know that would have happened eventually if we were patient enough.  She was absolutely perfect, 8lbs 13oz and 22 inches long.

With pregnancy, something could always go wrong, no matter if you do everything right.  Sometimes things just happen.  I've had to remind myself that I didn't cause this.  There was nothing I could do to prevent it.  There's nothing wrong with me that did this to her.  It just happened.  And to be honest, it's been a winding road, but when you meet her, you would not have any clue of what we've been through.  She's perfect and incredibly strong.  It's just our story.

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